What We Do When No One is Watching: A Reflection on Integrity
If you could do anything—absolutely anything—without anyone knowing, what would you choose?
This question gets right to the heart of integrity, an idea the philosopher Plato explored in his story of The Ring of Gyges. In the tale, a shepherd named Gyges discovers a ring that grants him invisibility, allowing him to act without consequence. Freed from accountability, he ultimately chooses a path of power and self-interest. Gyges’s story poses a question we all confront in subtle ways: when no one is watching, what guides our choices? Self-interest? A path aligned with our values? Or something else entirely?
The Barriers to Integrity
Gyges’ story pushes us to consider not only what we might do with invisibility but what these choices reveal about us. If I’m honest, given total invisibility, my own choices would range from innocent to a little mischievous—from shout-singing pop songs off-key to imagining karmic retribution for past harms. When there’s no one to observe us, our imagination can run wild, for better or worse. Gyges’ story resonates because it’s a mirror for us all. We each carry hidden desires and impulses, yet rarely do we pause to consider how we might act if those impulses were truly tested in moments when no one is watching.
For me, integrity is a top core value, and I know my actions, seen and unseen, need to align with it. And yet… sometimes acting with integrity is hard. It’s hard when I see others publicly promoting one thing but behaving differently in private and getting away with it. It’s hard when the easy or efficient option invites us to compromise. Integrity is not just a principle; it’s a call to action, pushing us to think beyond convenience and toward how our behaviors impact others and ourselves.
Holding Ourselves Accountable When No One Is Watching
As a school leader, I thought a lot about Gyges’s story, and I still do. It’s one thing to talk at meetings about growth, collaboration, and modeling behaviors we hope to see in others. But in those unseen moments, do we live out what we profess? Do we hold ourselves to the same standards we expect of others, or do we slip into the convenience of “do as I say, not as I do”?
There’s a real power in accountability and community members who hold us responsible for our actions. As I often say in my workshops, “If you lead in schools and classrooms, young people are watching.” But relying solely on others to hold us responsible is also a form of self-abandonment. True accountability doesn’t depend on someone watching; it’s about who you are and what you uphold even when no one else is around.
Imagine if we created a personal accountability system grounded in our values. If we made integrity less about avoiding judgment and more about living a life that feels right for us. Recognizing that all our actions—seen and unseen—shape the world, what kind of impact might we make?
To build a personal accountability system for those unseen moments, here are a few possibilities:
In unobserved moments when your values are tested, ask yourself, “Who am I choosing to be right now?” This question will allow you to root in what matters to you, to choose the actions that align with your values.
At the end of each day, jot down moments when you had a choice to act in alignment with your values without anyone knowing. This reflective practice helps you notice patterns, celebrate small acts of integrity, and identify areas to strengthen.
Pause and ask yourself, “Would my future self be proud of this choice?” This question can anchor you to what matters most. Over time, this pause can transform into a habit, guiding the legacy you hope to create.
These small practices allow us to imagine new possibilities: a world where our actions—visible or hidden—reflect the integrity we want to bring to every part of our lives.
Here’s to imagining what’s possible when our unseen choices align with our deepest integrity.
