Breaking Down Barriers and Building Relationships: Four Strategies for Schools
This article was originally published on Onward.
Much of the work we do as school leaders is build relationships. While our main charges are to supervise, support, and coach teachers at our school sites, I also imagine we get work across different types of teams—teams of senior leaders and administrative staff, collaborating on a range of projects and learning activities that cut across segments of school life. Regardless of role, all adults in a school want to feel like they are valued for what they do, that they have something to offer, and that they are seen both in their work roles and as human beings. And in our school sites, we need to make intentional space for deepening relationships.
So what would it look like if schools took the time to break down the barriers of job description and title in service of deepening trust and nurturing healthy school cultures?
Four Strategies for Building Relationships
Whether you are a leader in your school site, a teacher seeking to build community, or an administrative staff member seeking more opportunities for connection, consider the following four strategies for breaking barriers and building authentic relationships this school year.
1. Devote time for sharing across roles
In our school’s first day of opening meetings, we began our work together by asking all adults to do some core values and personal mission work together. Both of these activities have been adapted from Elena Aguilar’s The Art of Coaching and The Onward Workbook, and they invite a range of ways for reflection.
Over the course of a two-to-three hour session, we give people time to choose and narrow their core values, do some personal reflection, draft possible mission statements, and settle on a “working mission statement.” We then put everyone into groups of four to five people (random.org is a good group-builder), and ask them to use the following protocol to share any aspect of these two activities, offering what they feel most comfortable sharing as well as honoring each person’s starting point into this work.
By the end, groups share appreciations for what they’ve heard and deepen their empathy for one another.
2. Start meetings with playful and light-hearted activities
The work of schools can be a serious endeavor, and just as we ask students to play, we adults can enjoy some silliness, too.
The following brain-break games or improv activities can be just as fun for adults as for students, and may be an enjoyable way to begin meetings. Consider activities that challenge everyone to be just 10% braver while also acknowledging the range of dispositions and needs in the room.
This “six-word memoir” activity is great for any time of the year; it allows people to learn a little more about their colleagues by inviting creativity and curiosity—and is a welcoming (and sometimes addictive) task for introverts and extroverts.
3. Practice “Five-Appreciation Fridays”
The best way for people to feel seen is to acknowledge the work they do with specific appreciations.
A couple years ago, I started committing the last 15 minutes of my Friday to sharing five appreciations with people across the school—whether the facilities person who helped a student find a lost item, the office manager to went above and beyond in ensuring teachers had the supplies they needed, or the school leader whose behind-the-scenes planning needed acknowledgement. And it’s a practice I have engaged in ever since.
Consider stocking up on some inexpensive notecards or even send an email with a brief note of appreciation. Make sure it is specific to something this person did (moving beyond, “thanks for being so generous,” to “thanks for sharing your extra art supplies with me; students made some amazing work…”).
A little appreciation goes a long way, allows you to be more present to the events and people in the building, and can also boost your emotional well being.
4. Build professional learning communities focused on cultural competency
While anti-bias work certainly can be a more complex endeavor, building a culturally competent school community ensures all adults and students can feel safe and valued. Sometimes the traits we share in common can offer opportunities to build bridges across everyone’s roles.
Adult-based “affinity groups” may offer a safe space for people to share their experiences and work towards greater equity in schools. At my school, we offer adult affinity groups for our faculty/staff of color, for white-identified people looking to unlearn racism, and for individuals exploring gender identity/dynamics.
For schools just getting started with cultural competency work, this activity or this cultural stories protocol can serve as powerful entry points to build cultural competency among adults.
It’s Never Too Late, And the Sooner the Better
While it’s never too late to deepen relationships across school communities, the sooner in the year people can find time for these practices, the better. Whether dedicating time at faculty meetings for brain breaks, finding some time to connect after school in affinity groups, building in five-appreciation Fridays, or making time for weekly or monthly lunches to revisit core values and mission statements, all these practices can contribute to trusting and healthy school cultures that will allow adults—and ultimately students—to thrive.
